Why Sean Spicer Is So Angry

The reason why Sean Spicer is alway mad at Press Conferences is because he is emotionally and physically abused constantly.

His main antagonist is Vice President Mike Pence. Pence is always out to get him said, Rex Tillerson who joins in on the constant hazing of Spicer.

Last week while VP Mike Pence was having a quick chat with the White House florist about the peruvian lily arrangement in the hallway, Pence stopped Spicer who was walking through the hallway and asked Spicer to smell the flower arrangement.

Spicer took a sniff and said, “they smell very nice.” VP Pence responded, “I know, we just wanted to see if your resting I just smelled shit face would go away for a sec… I guess not.” Spicer stormed off angrily as The Vice President and the Florist laughed together.

A few days later around 7 P.M. at the White House when Spicer at the end of a long hard day went to use the bathroom, Pence and Reince Preibus quickly installed a padlock on the bathroom door and locked Spicer in the bathroom overnight. The next morning Pence opened the door along with several White House staff members. 

Spicer was on the bathroom floor sleeping, and was woken by the sounds of his colleagues laughing at him. Pence pointed at Spicers face and said, that his resting I smell shit face is appropriate for once. Everyone laughed and applauded Pence for his wittiness as Sean Spicer got up bolted away from the crowd.

From a trusted source, it was revealed to Falso Times that right before the 1st White House press conference,where Spicer came off belligerent and aggressive, Spicer was physically abused.

Earlier that day Pence asked Spicer to check out the basketball court with him and a few members of the Congress including Paul Ryan. Down at the basketball court, Pence strategically positioned Spicer right underneath the basketball hoop, and yelled, “Now.”

The Congressmen  and Pence made 5 quick steps away from Spicer and out of nowhere Marcin Gortat the 6’11 240 Center for the Washington Wizards, dunked the basketball in the hoop with Spicer underneath. Gortat’s body made impact with Spicer and launched Spicer to the ground 15 feet away from where he was standing.

Everyone including Gortat laughed at Spicer as he had to pick up his pens and his right shoe which flew off from the impact.

Spicer yelled, “God damn you assholes, I just bought this fucking jacket. Fuck you all of you.” He attempted to throw his right shoe at Pence but the shoe missed by over 15 feet. Pence and crew felt really bad, as Spicer ran back into the White House crying.

Spicer drove home, changed, and got back to the White House just in time for the 1st press conference.

We asked Mike Pence why he picks on Spicer so much, and he responded, “look at him.”