The reason why Kellyanne Conway is constantly trying to book herself on the news is to arouse internet sensation Tyrone.
Tyrone makes under 10 second long videos that ends with the tag line “I’m here to fuck somebody’s wife, long dick style.”
Early last year in Philadelphia, Tyrone happened to approach Kellyanne Conway walking with husband George T. Conway, to perform his signature bit. Kellyanne recognized Tyrone before he could perform the bit and told him that she was a huge fan. The two exchanged social media information and phone numbers.
Since then Kellyanne and Tyrone have been in touch, and text each other nearly everyday.
Their text conversations tend to be highly sexualized. In June Tyrone told Kellyanne that he thinks she looks really sexy on TV. From then on Kellyanne wanting to please Tyrone, did everything she could to get on TV.
At the time President Trump was getting most of the air time. Kellyanne knew in order to get on TV more she had to join the Trump campaign, which is why after criticizing Trump during for most of the 1st of of 2016, she came around to support him leading to her getting hired by Trump for a senior advisor position in July 2016.
Since then, Kellyanne has been on TV nearly everyday. After every show, Tyrone would send her a text message letting her know how aroused he was to see her on TV. Here is how one conversation went after her appearance on live TV.
Tyrone: Kellyanne you make me want to fuck somebody’s wife. YOu know who’s wife?
Kellyanne: George T. Conway’s.
Tyrone: That’s right, and you know what style?
Kellyanne: Long dick style.
In order to keep this up Kellyanne needed to make sure Trump got elected so she worked 18+ hour days to make it happen.
In November when Trump got elected she texted Tyrone, and wrote, “you will be seeing me on TV a lot more baby.” Tyrone replied back “fuck yeah, my dick just got longer.”
Once the campaign ended, Kellyanne noticed she wasn’t getting many offers to be on TV, and she was worried her text only relationship with Tyrone would end.
A worried Kellyanne, advised the President to act quickly on his promises or at least threaten to, so when there would be a backlash she would get invited on the news to explain for him.
Often times she didn’t know what to say and was completely unprepared. She constantly said things that were not true and she purposely extended interviews by not answering the questions news Hosts would ask her just so Tyrone had more of her to see.
Last week, Tyrone texted Kellyanne that she is starting to look boring to him. Kellyanne immediately texted back asking what she needed to do to not look boring. Tyrone replied, “I want you to go on the news looking restless with your hair messed up and shit like I just fucked you long dick style, and I want you to sound fucking stupid as hell.” Kellyanne said she would do it.
This past monday Kellyanne appeared on the Today show and did exactly what Tyrone request. Here is her interview with Matt Lauer:
After the interview Kellyanne texted Tyrone and asked him what he thought. Tyrone didn’t respond immediately like he normally does.
For 5 hours Kellyanne paced through her office waiting for a response from Tyrone, but she never got it. She was so anxious she didn’t complete any work the rest of the day after the interview.
She walked back to her car later that evening still without a response from Tyrone. When she got to her car there was a handwritten note on her windshield. She opened the note and it said,
Thank you so much for doing what you did on the Today show for me. You have made me the happiest person in the world. I realized after seeing you on the Today show that I have to stop our contact. As much as I want to fuck you long dick style, I need to find my own Kellyanne.
You are married to a great guy with 4 beautiful children, and because of that we cannot be.
I will save all of our text messages as a reminder of what we had together, and hope that one day my Kellyanne would be half as special as you.
Kellyanne heartbroken cried on her drive home, but realized the ended relationship was for the best.
She should know that she has an uphill battle with the media, so she will have to work diligently to repair her reputation.