Trump Chews Out Mitch McConnell For Not Standing Up For All Ovations at Joint Session

Trump was extremely upset with Mitch McConnell for not standing up for more than half of the standing ovations at yesterday’s joint session.

Trump received 58 ovations yesterday which Senator McConnell only stood for 13. McConnell who is 75 years old knees started to hurt after the “pipeline made with American steel,” ovation. McConnell thought he should save himself for only the most important ovation such as the ones Maureen Scalia, Carryn Owens, and the final ovation.

Trump noticed McConnell sitting down for most of the ovations which made the President very upset.

This morning Trump sent an e-mail to McConnell asking to meet with him in his office before today’s meetings.  McConnell replied back accepting the calendar invite. McConnell didn’t know why the President wanted to meet with him but he was hoping it was because of the way he handled himself at his district’s town hall meetings where a video of a concerned citizen screaming at him went viral.

McConnell wants his relationship with the President to continue to grow, so he was excited about the meeting and picked up pastries for their meeting from Patisserie Poupon in Georgetown.

In the Oval Office when McConnell entered was Vice President Pence and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan. McConnell was a little disappointed and surprised to see them there but he overall didn’t mind, his main concern was that he didn’t bring enough pastries for everyone.

McConnell presented Trump with the box of pastries and told him he got them at one of DC’s finest bakeries. Trump took the box and said, “thank you,” opened the box and then dumped the contents on the floor. Trump then stepped on each of the pasties smooshing them into the carpet. When Trump stepped on the chocolate croissant he aimed the chocolate insertion hole at McConnell to get chocolate on his pants which he successfully did.

“I see you are able to take the time to get pastries for me but you are unable to stand the fuck up for me during the joint session,” Trump said.

McConnell replied, “I’m sorry Mr. President, my knee started hurting badly after a few rounds of standing up and sitting down which is why I stayed sitting down. But I did make sure to get up for Mrs. Scalia, our Navy Seal widow, and your final ovation.”

Trump not accepting his excuse replied, “You know something Mitch we should change your name from Mitch McConnell to Bitch McConnell. What do you say guys? (Looking at Pence and Ryan who reluctantly agreed). My knee started hurting (in a baby voice). I told all republican attending before the joint session that I needed support because the goddamn democrats weren’t going to stand up for shit. I don’t give a fuck if you stood up for Scalia and our Navy Seal widow, big deal, everyone stood up for those. I needed you for the small ones Bitch McConnell, that’s what I need you for.”

“I am so sorry Mr. President.” McConnell replied.

Trump told Pence and Ryan, “get this old fuck a fucking cane for the next meeting that requires several standing ovations.” Ryan said he will make sure that happens.

Trump dismissed Pence and Ryan, and made McConnell clean up the pastries off the carpet. When McConnell went to pick up the chocolate croissant, he stepped on it one last time trying to spray chocolate in McConnell’s face, however there was not enough chocolate in the croissant to create that reaction.

Trump instead had McConnell hand him the fruit tart. Trump took the fruit tart and asked McConnell to stand up and unbutton his shirt which McConnell agreed to do. On McConnell’s bare chest Trump smooshed the fruit tart, then grabbed heavy duty tape from his desk drawer, and tapped the fruit tart to his chest.

Trump told McConnell that he has to leave that fruit tart there the whole week to make up for sitting down during the ovations. McConnell replied, “yes sir.” Trump also added that he has to now go by Bitch McConnell for the rest of the week, which McConnell agreed to do.