No Handshake Reason: Merkel wouldn’t have sex with Trump in 1976

The reason why Trump didn’t shake hands with German Chancellor Angela Merkel last week was because Trump is still upset that Merkel wouldn’t have sex with him in 1976.

Back in 1976 Trump age 30 at the time, decided to do a solo trip to Germany. A big reason for this is because he was going to propose to first wife Ivana Trump and he wanted to make sure he got “everything out of his system.”

Trump wanted to hook up with a German college girl and by random he chose to visit Leipzig University.

Once he arrived at Leipzig University Trump didn’t waste a minute, he approached every single girl and started flirting with them. When girls told him that they were not interested, Trump would call them a bitch or a lesbian.

Trump was reported to campus police by 33 girl students at Leipzig and they escorted Trump off the premises. Trump decided to wait until the evening to approach girls because he figured it would be easier.

At a bar later that evening, an intoxicated Trump approached 22 year old future Chancellor of Germany Angela Merkel. Trump whispered in her ear, “I’m from America.” Merkel told Trump, “That’s nice. I’m Angela Merkel,What’s your name?” Trump responded, “let’s fuck, that’s my name.”

Merkel didn’t like the vibe Trump was giving off so her and her friends decided to leave.

Trump decided to follow Merkel and her friends. After walking several blocks Merkel told Trump to stop following them. Trump responded, “Ok let’s make a deal, I’ll stop following you and your friends……if we could have sex for 10 minutes.” Merkel rejected Trump’s offers.

Trump responded, “Look I’m the man in New York City. America! You get it. I am a big fish in a big pond. Money! Money! I can have any girl in that city suck me dry. So with that being said…..” (Trump points to his crotch area).

Merkel firmly told Trump she is not interested and she will not do anything sexual for him. Trump yelled, “Fuck you!” and ran away crying.

Trump woke up in a ditch the next morning with a bag full of German porn magazines.

This past friday, when the two met in Washington D.C. Trump told Merkel, “You know I feel like we came across each other a long time ago .” Merkel with a grin on her face told Trump, “we did at Leipzig University.”

Trump fainted. When Trump woke up from his faint he wouldn’t say anything to Merkel. Once Trump collected himself together, reporters arrived into the Oval Office and that’s when the world saw Trump avoid shaking hands with Merkel.

Trump told his staff that he never wants to see Merkel again. His staff told him that is not possible because Germany is the largest economy in Europe and we need to work with them.

Trump to self, “fuck my life!”