House and Senate Democrats gathered friday night to celebrate the defeat of GOP health care bill.
The evening event was held at nightclub Heist DC, which Nancy Pelosi rented out for the celebration. Pelosi spared no expense, as bottles of Cristal circulated the nightclub as well as cocktails, glasses of wine, and beluga caviar. Pelosi also had gift bags for all guest which included a Pomeranian.
Nearly all House and Senate Democrats attended, and they were joined by celebrities Sarah Silverman, Lena Dunham, Kerry Washington, and 50 Cent.
The DJ played only hip hop throughout the evening which Democrats danced to. During the song “All Me” by Drake, Pelosi got in the DJ booth and right before Big Sean’s verse, Pelosi with a microphone asked the crowd, “what do we need to say to Trump and Ryan?” and the whole club screamed out the first sentence of Big Sean’s verse, “HOE SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Pelosi quickly had sex with the DJ, Leroy Jackson A.K.A Big Critter, of Anacostia D.C. in the DJ booth as the track finished.
Several Democrats got frisky with each other including Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who freak danced with Sen. Bernie Sanders, and Sen. Corey Booker who fondled Lena Dunham all night. All the stalls in the bathrooms at Heist DC throughout the night were occupied by Democrats having sex with each other.
Late in the evening, a fight broke out between a drunk Sen. Chuck Schumer and 50 Cent, which 50 Cent easily won with 1 quick left haymaker that knocked Schumer unconscious. As Schumer was on the ground, several Democrats including Tim Kaine, Pelosi, and Warren pulled out their iphones and recorded a knocked out Schumer on the ground. Multiple Democrats yelled, “World Star!” during the incident.
Overall the Democrats were very happy to finally celebrate something. Although things got out of control friday evening with several Democrats leaving the party blackout drunk, the celebration was much needed for the Democrats after several political losses over the last 12 months.
Heist DC was very happy to host the Democrats who paid $1.3 Million for the evening. “It was a pleasure having them celebrate their victory at Heist,” said, Charles Koch, Owner of Heist DC. Koch’s only issue was with Bernie Sanders, who told every Heist DC employee that they should all be making at least $15 per hour.