The Real Reason Comey Was Fired

Former FBI Director, James Comey, was fired because of his height, sources say.

After The Inauguration, President Trump invited Comey over to the White House for dinner. When Comey arrived, Trump, who stands at 6 foot 2 inches, was overshadowed by Comey, who stands at 6 foot 8. Trump didn’t like this.

Trump doesn’t like colleagues of his to be way taller than him, it makes him feel beta. From the moment Trump found out Comey was taller than him the idea of firing the director was planted in his head.

A few weeks later, during a meeting with House Republicans about healthcare, Paul Ryan mentioned to the group that he played basketball with Comey over the weekend. Ryan told house members, “I couldn’t beat him, he’s soooooo tall. Comey is a BEAST! Being too tall should be a preexisting condition, right?” The whole room burst into laughter.

Trump angrily responded, “He is not that fucking tall Paul…You just suck at basketball. Comey always wears elevator shoes, I bet barefoot we’re around the same height.”

The whole room was quiet until Ryan replied, “Come one Donald, No one in Washington except Marcin Gortat is taller than him. He’s got a good 6 inches on you.”

An enraged Trump lunged over the conference table at Ryan with both his hands aiming at Ryan’s neck. Several Congressman held the President back to save Ryan from the attack. An upset Trump, stormed out of the room crying.

Last week, while Trump was having dinner with Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner at the White House, Ivanka commented on how tall Comey was, saying, “Comey has the perfect height for the his position.”

Trump responded, “Ivanka, you are such a whore! YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM NOW, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? I CAN ARRANGE IT, I AM THE FUCKING PRESIDENT YOU KNOW. DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL HIM OVER RIGHT NOW TO FUCK YOU? DO YOU?”

A frustrated Ivanka got up immediately and left the dining room.

Kushner told Trump that he was out of line by calling Ivanka a whore.

Trump told Jared “Fuck you.”

Jared told Trump, “Look, I know you don’t like Comey because of his height, it’s very obvious, and you definitely don’t like it when people bring it up, so why don’t you just fire the man so it doesn’t stress you out anymore.”

Trump told Jared that he thought it was a good idea. He justified the firing to himself and Kushner by saying that it would help him run the country better by not having Comey’s height as a distraction.

When Jared asked when the President would he like to arrange a meeting with Comey. Trump said, “Let’s not have a meeting. I’ll just send a letter to the Bureau, while he’s in Los Angeles, it will be less awkward.”

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