Bernie Sanders Scores 40 Points In Pickup Basketball Game

The best basketball player on monday was not Stephen Curry it was Senator Bernie Sanders.

While campaigning, for Rob Quist who is running for Congress in Montana, Sanders was told that there is a basketball court in the Butte Civic Center where Quist’s rally was taking place.

Sanders got campaign managers and volunteers together and organized a 5-on-5 game.

The game started slow for Sanders until he got elbowed in the mouth by a 18 year old volunteer named Kenny Brooks. Brooks apologized to the Senator telling him, “I didn’t mean to do that.”

Sanders responded, “I see how it is, you want to play unfair? Well let’s play.”

Brooks responded back, “No it was an accident.”

Sanders told him, “Quiet.”

Sanders checked the ball very rough to Brooks and the game was on.

Sanders scored the next 27 points in the game with Brooks guarding him for most of those points. Sanders who stands at 6’1 backed down the 5’8 Brooks easily every time.

Sanders also had great handles with the ball. He crossed up men more than 40 years younger than him. He nearly broke the ankles of one 30 year old volunteer with his misdirection.

At the end of the game, Sanders team won by 20 points. Sanders got on a chair and made a speech:

Great game everyone. Both teams played hard, and only one team could win. This game however wasn’t fair. I have been playing basketball for over 60 years while some of you have been playing less than 15. I am also taller than most of you which is also unfair. My shoes are new which give me better grip, and I have less hair on my head which makes my head lighter thus making it easier for me to jump. So because of the unfairness in the game, I would like to give 20 of my points to the other team, now we both have won. There should be no winners and losers in this country anymore. The people who have the most must share with the people who have the least. If the billionaire and millionaires of this country can share their wealth with middle and lower class, we will have no more people starving in the street. If I can do it so can they. Vote for Rob Quist!!!!

A few men off the court bet on the game and were upset that Sanders made the game end in a tie.

One of the gamblers really needed the winnings to pay for his rent and said, “If Sanders wants to look out for the little guy, he could have started with me. I’m poor, and I needed that fucking money.”