Trump’s first cabinet meeting started with a round of compliments. The most over the top came from Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, “We thank you for the opportunity and blessing to serve your agenda.”
Priebus asked the Cabinet to give compliments to the President because the President has been feeling like a beta male for the last couple of days.
The main reason perhaps is that on Sunday Melania and Barron Trump moved into the White House.
Barron has been ignoring his dad since he moved in. When Trump asked Barron, “How do you like your new room son?” Barron replied, “Fuck you dad you piece of shit,” and threw his iPhone 7 plus at his father’s head but hit the wall behind him. Barron yelled at his dad, “Look what you made me do! You better buy me a new one in the next hour!” The President immediately left Barron’s room and ordered Barron a new iPhone.
Later that evening, when Trump was taking a shower, Trump stepped on a large piece of feces. The feces was excreted from Melania’s boyfriend Idris Muhammad, who exchanged several orgasams with Melania throughout the day. The reason why Muhammad took a dump in the President’s shower is unknown.
On a Monday evening call with Chief of Staff Priebus, the President broke down and cried when he told him about all the things that had happened. He opened up about Barron not showing him respect, and how Melania is having sex with Idris Muhammad. He also mentioned that all of his Viagra pills are expired because he hasn’t been sexual with anyone in a while.
Priebus felt bad that the President feeling pain and wanted to make him feel better, so before Tuesday’s meeting, Priebus told everyone in the Cabinet to “Compliment the hell out of the President, damnit. He is feeling like a bitch.”
Every Cabinet Member agreed to participate: